Behind the Scenes

They convene in a smoke-filled room once a week, devising new ways to gather as much personal information about us as possible. They then store that information on an innocuous-looking website, forever available for their purposes. No, I am not talking about Mark Zuckerberg and his employees or the FBI and NSA. I am talking about the Telecom Grad blog team – Ken, Teresa and Harmeet (though, on second thought, who knows who they really work for).

I had the opportunity to sit in on a blog team meeting recently. It is still unclear to me why they let an outsider participate. Allegedly, they want me to write humorous pieces for the blog, but I never take what I am told at face value. Perhaps they were trying to gain my trust, recruiting me to their cause. After all, such an operation requires many covert informants in the community. I suspect they may have slipped some truth serum into my tea, that very same tea from which the aforementioned smoke came from (and don’t get all science-y and tell me that steam isn’t smoke). It is also the same tea Ken supplies us all at T600. I dare to say that is not a coincidence.

Whatever their true intentions were, the blog team’s plan backfired. I have been exposed to their modes of operation and can now warn all of you, my fellow Telecom grad students, faculty and staff, to beware. They are lurking in the shadows, watching you play sports, attempting to obtain video evidence of your rule-breaking parking habits and infiltrating your parties. They even recruit individuals into their laser tag army, where people are trained for combat while thinking it is just harmless fun. It never is. Harmless, I mean. It is always fun. That is why laser tag is such an effective tool.

Fun is also the main danger of the blog itself. It is always a fun and interesting read. Through it, we get to know each other better. We regularly inform on ourselves and on others, hoping certain stories will be featured on the site. The blog’s high quality blinds us to the truth.

After this post is published, if you don’t see me for a while, I am probably hooked up to the re-education machines at the ICR. Oh, yes, psychophysiological equipment does something completely different from what they say it does, but that’s a subject for a different column.

sine qua nonsense brought to you by Ph.D. student, Edo Steinberg

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