The Telecom Running Group

On the first day of orientation, Betsi Grabe told us all not to forget that we have a body. She then suggested that we join the Telecom running group. Well, indeed, if I run for more than a minute, the aches and pains won’t let me forget that I have a body. So I decided not to join the runners, or more accurately, I never even considered it. I only run if I’m late for the bus or there’s a bulldog chasing me (or if a bulldog is chasing me while I’m late for the bus).

I wanted to write about the runners without having to run. The perfect opportunity arose when I heard they are meeting for dinner. Talking to the joggers while taking in calories, not burning them – what a bargain!

Some of the runners were preparing for a half-marathon the following weekend in Indianapolis, and they were also planning farther ahead. They want to do an all-night relay in July. That’s actually something I would consider joining. Under the cover of darkness, I could hop into a car that would take me to the finish line. Yes, that would be cheating, but it’s better than doping.

Speaking of doping, Lindsay Ems made granola power bars for the runners. Each one got a bag with his or her name on it. I don’t know what Lindsay put in there, but I know I would definitely have added some magic from Lance Armstrong’s pharmacy. That stuff has been proven to work.  (Disclaimer: the Department of Telecommunications and its grad blog do not condone the use of performance enhancing drugs. Not officially, at least).

I was surprised and dismayed to find out that the Telecom running group is not made up solely of people from the department. Our fortress has been breached! Are there not enough Telecom people committed to physical fitness? Roommates and professors from other departments have joined the team. One of them tried to placate me by offering me money. Officially, I’d be paid to participate in a study about non-native speakers of English. This may be my second language, but I can still read between the lines, just a bit slower and sometimes in the wrong direction.

So, if you’re a masochist or just someone looking to get in shape, join the running group. And think twice before you take a second slice of Ryan’s bread on Bread-Day Tuesday. You’ve really let yourself go lately.

sine qua nonsense brought to you by Ph.D. student, Edo Steinberg

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