Sine Qua Nonsense

This Was the Blog That Was

It is hard to believe that it has already been a whole academic year since I started writing this column. A lot has changed since September. Consequences have been paid for my truth telling. Harmeet, who decided to allow me on the blog, was banished for a whole semester to a faraway place to think about what he has done. Sure, he had announced he would be going on sabbatical even before the school year began, but I wholeheartedly reject the most sensible explanations.

I myself have paid a price for my revelations. I was given a serum which suppressed my need to expose departmental conspiracies and forced to write “regular” blog posts. Mysteriously, the serum wore off after a month, so I could quickly shoot out another Sine Qua Nonsense before I was fed the next dose.

Working on the blog is harder than you might think. It tears you away from building your secret apocalypse shelter and forces you to talk to different people in the department, some of whom you wouldn’t normally run into. Even with the people you do see regularly, interviews aren’t usually about the things you discuss every day. I don’t talk about hunting, rap and porn very often. Now that I think of it, I shouldn’t have mentioned all three in one sentence, since mixing hunting, rap and porn together can lead to disaster.

Faculty, staff and graduate students here sure aren’t dull. It makes you wonder what dark forces are luring so many interesting people to this department of all places. The Radio and Television Building must be the world headquarters of the Free Masons, with the Department of Telecommunications and WTIU and WFIU as a cover. Also, all those satellite dishes on the roof – are they really broadcasting the local PBS and NPR stations, or are they receiving surveillance data about the entire world?

Anyway, enjoy your summer blissfully ignorant of all the conspiracies out there!


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